(Disclaimer: This is NOT a travel review about Johor Bahru (JB). This is one good example of why I can never become a travel writer without being banned from the places I go to. What you are about to read is an actual account of my one-day-trip to JB during the weekend.)
It’s great to be somewhere different for a change
I went to JB for the first time ever in my life during the weekend, for an appointment at some place that I don’t even know of. All they gave me was an address saying that the place is in JB.
The Place
Now I’ve studied geography before and I know that I sucked at it. Not that I’m at a close-to-average stage, but more like the worst of the worst. Anyway, if my short term geographical memory serves me right, Pahang is the largest state in Peninsular Malaysia, right? But for some weird reasons, the ride to JB was though it’s neverending!
I know I saw the sign that says “you’re in johore”, or something like that, along the way. And two hours later, I’m still in the bus heading towards JB, which is still 16KM away!!
I never knew that Johor was so freaking huge! I thought I largest state is Pahang! It still is, right?
Culture Shock
Being next to Singapore, I was expecting JB to be at least to be like a small version of Penang, or maybe KL. But upon reaching the place, I was proven dead wrong. The place looked more like a jam-packed version of Butterworth… more like a “bigger jam-packed version” of Butterworth… okay, a “bigger jam-packed version of Butterworth with more Malays than Indians.”
I hope there aren’t any Johorean reading this, but I think the one thing… ok wait… TWO things that Johor learned from Singapore are:
1. The kiasu attitude; and
2. Bad fashion taste
I know I’m in NO position to criticise others about fashion when I myself don’t really have fashion sense, but most the Chinese there just looked like a bunch of…. Ok, who am I kidding? Let’s always look on the bright side: The boys looked like they either just walked out from an anime (very beautiful…), or as Ash always puts it: Timbaland. As for the girls, well…. Let’s just say that I’m starting to see why Johor is starting to get an increasing number of gays coming out of the closet as time goes by.
Not to say that ALL the girls there looked road killed, there is like one out of the tens I saw that looked good. And yes, of course they have an anime-like boyfriend to go with her. Literally beautiful couple, I would say.
I wonder how all the other girls out in Johor get their boyfriends…. Hmm…
Food & Restaurant
Once I got off the bus at the JB bus terminal, which has an uncanny resemblance to the current Butterworth bus express stop... only with more shops, I went straight ahead to a familiar sign that attracted me like a moth to a flame; a sign in the shape of a LARGE letter “m”.
Okay, so I’m not that adventurous when it comes to food, but c’mon, I had an appointment to go to. I wouldn’t want to get a bad stomach!
Anyways, you might think that ALL McDs are the same, right? Well, you’re wrong! This one is different! Although they are advance enough to be serving the same menu as lie their all other McD counterparts, the cashiers at this particular outlet uses a Manual Calculator to tabulate how much you have to pay than using the modern technologies of a cashing machine.
I’m now pulling your legs here, it’s true! The girl who served me can even memorise the price of what I ordered and just started calculating away on the calculator without even double checking on the price list!
To keep-track of what I’ve ordered, she wrote it down on a piece of A4 paper, along with all the other orders that she took earlier. Very interesting ain’t it?
And just when you thought that with such a working condition, the cashiers MUST be in a very pissy mood, especially when I got there during the lunch hour, where the crowd is building up fast, well you’re wrong. They actually serve you with a smile! Now I’m not talking about those fake ones that they gave you for free at most places, this one seemed very sincere and happy. For the first time ever, I really feel like buying a Happy Meal… whatever that is. (But of course, I didn’t buy that and I stick to my usual order of Ribena instead.)
MORE Culture Shock
If you think that the taxi drivers which flocks the exit of an express bus are scary, you obviously haven’t been to JB!
This is what I observed from sitting close by to the window: The minute a bus approaches the bus-parking space at the terminl, the bus ticket sellers (mostly men), will race each other to the bus, which by the way is still trying to park without running over any of the “racers”, who are now almost shoving each other so that they could stand at the exit where the passengers are going to come out from.
What I experience was when I got down from my bus ride. Imagine that you are LEGOLAS. Now, I’m NOT talking about Orlando Bloom, I say Legolas! Yes, that elf thing from “The Lord Of The Rings”. And now imagine that you’re coming down from a bus at your meet-the-fans session and your fans are there to greet you…
Okay, maybe I’m a little off topic here, but here’s what I can tell you from my experience: It’s like getting mobbed by tens and thousands of screaming fans, who are shoving their notepad to you so you can autograph it. The difference here is: in this version you’re surrounded by a group of smelly, sweaty men, shoving their ticket pads at your face, and screaming out names of different location to get your attention: KL, PD, Penang, Perlis, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla….
The People
Besides the kind staff at McD, and the people whom I met at the appointment place, (if it helps to justify this bad attempt in writing a travel review), I also talk to this guy on the bus.
No, I didn’t hit on him. And no, there is nothing anime-like, or anything “Timbaland”, about him. I met him on the bus back to KL. He started talking to me when the bus that we’re on was delayed an hour plus.
Ken, his name, turns out to be a chef for a famous Russian restaurant in Moscow, which name I cannot remember, and he’s been there for more than five years. We had a nice long chat during the bus trip back to KL.
Conclusion
Just when I was about to conclude that JB people ain’t that bad as I picture them to be, I found out that Ken’s from Taiping, Perak! Sigh…
(MORE "Disclaimer"... or something like that: I would like to say that this is just an opinion piece and nothing more than that. If you're refering to this as your travel guide, and wanted to know where else you can go to, if not JB, I'd say: "Go to Sarawak! It's a beautiful place with nice people!")
